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How to pleasure a clit like a master
Posted:Oct 5, 2019 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Oct 13, 2019 12:34 pm
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Knowledge is pleasure.

And if you have a clitoris, the more you know about it, the more options you’ll be able to explore en route to achieving satisfaction. (Or, if you’re aiming to please someone has a clitoris, you can work with your partner to discover the techniques that take them to tingle town.)

We’ve reached experts and research put together a guide for flying solo and giving or receiving some seriously satisfying clitoral stimulation. After all, getting busy with your own bod can help you chuck unwanted inhibitions.

Plus, find the truth about clitoral anatomy. It’s more than just a tiny hotspot.

Get your own O-game on
Throw out any taboos or guilt surrounding masturbation right now.

You won’t go blind. You won’t get addicted. And, no, it’s not cheating on a partner. It’s more than about feeling , too.

Pleasuring yourself has health benefits that go beyond the body — it can help untangle shame that affects confidence with yourself, partnered sex, or in a relationship.

“It’s hard to know what to ask for from your partner if you don’t know what you like,” says Diana Sadat, a sex therapist and clinical counselor in Vancouver, British Columbia.

“Masturbation is a chance to explore what feels good. You may notice that stimulating in round patterns feels better than up and down, or that you enjoy stimulation using your inner labia over your clitoris rather than direct clitoral stimulation.”

Start soft and slow and then apply more pressure or speed as your body asks for it.

A little teasing yourself can also amp up the pleasure and save on hand cramps. Begin, stop for a few seconds, and then delve back in. Repeat as necessary.

Positions and ways to stimulate your clitoris

“Aye, there’s the rub.” Use your hand, fingers, or a sex toy to slide up and down or back and forth across your clitoris and clitoral hood.
“Tap dance.” A gentle tapping motion on your clit and hood can help you slowly build to orgasm. Speed it up as you wish.
“Get in the grind.” No hands required, and no need to take off your clothes. (It can be better if you those jeans on!) Straddle a pillow and grind your pelvis get yourself there.

“Peace pinch.” Use your first fingers like a peace sign softly pinch your clitoral hood and gently tug up and down, or slide your fingers in a back-and-forth motion.

“Orbit the planet.” Use your finger to trace slow circles around your clit and hood, touching your labia in the process.

“Fun zones.” Because of the unique shape of the clitoris, you may become aroused and even achieve orgasm by massaging other erogenous zones, on their own or along with the clitoris. Try your labia, vaginal opening, inner thigh, perineum, and anus. Lie on your belly and reach backward for easier access to everything, including the clit. This is also a position get your grind on while touching the rest of your sexy self.

“Penetration station.” The internal structures of the clitoris encircle the vaginal canal, so penetrating your vagina with your fingers or a sex toy can bring bliss. Combine with any of the above external stimulating techniques for a double delight.

“Good vibes.” You can use a vibrating sex toy to enhance or practice any method mentioned above. Vibrators can be especially good for those need put minimal movement on their hands or wrists. Use the lowest setting first and rev as desired.

Different techniques can elicit different types of pleasure, and how you go about stimulating yourself is completely up you.

Sadat just has universal tip: Give your bod a chance up.

“It takes your clitoris some time to get aroused and for blood to begin to flow,” she explains. “So begin to stroke around your clitoris, touching your labia without directly going for the clit for a bit you feel ready for that type of stimulation.”

How do I stimulate my clit from the inside?

Before we go any further on this stimulating topic, we’ve got to debunk the inaccurate concept that the clitoris is just a mini, pea-sized version of the penis.

As reported by the Atlantic, the clitoris is shaped more like a wishbone.

But even that comparison doesn’t come close celebrating its glory. The full anatomy of the clitoris looks like an upside-down flower with large petals extending inside the body that embrace the vaginal canal. It can even become erect when aroused.

So in that regard, don’t focus on what you see and can touch externally. If we touched penises based on that mentioned myth, we’d be touching the tip and missing on bigger pleasures.

Is the G-spot another C-spot?

That elusive ‘G-spot’ is not hiding inside the vagina like a secret unicorn.

Research indicates that it’s likely the place where your clitoris meets the anterior (front) vaginal wall. This is where the clit’s bulbs form a heart shape that hugs the canal.

So for people have vaginas, the orgasm probably is all about the clitoris, but we can stimulate it indirectly from inside the vagina, directly from outside the vagina, or both.

If you’re wondering how to find that spot internally without turn-by-turn directions from Siri, you’re not alone.

According to Our Bodies Ourselves, you should try reaching about a third of the way from the vaginal opening and playing with a mix of pressure and stimulation on the front (or upper) wall to see what feels good. It may take some practice and experimentation to locate.

Don’t get frustrated if vaginal penetration doesn’t make you come, even if you’ve found that extra sensitive internal trigger spot.

In a recent study on the orgasm, percent of American women said that vaginal penetration alone could give them the big O. Other respondents in the study said they either needed direct clit stim (about 37 percent) get them there, or that it greatly ramped up their climaxing pleasure (about 36 percent).

Re-cap: Clitoral anatomy 1

Glans clitoris. This is the external nub we think of when picturing the clitoris. Even though it’s ‘the size of a pea,’ it holds thousands of nerve endings.
Clitoral hood. We all like a good hoodie, and the clitoris is no different. The labia minora connect to form the clitoral hood. When you’re aroused, the hood retracts slightly to expose the glans. If you have a hooded clitoris, don’t worry, its normal.

Clitoral body. The clitoral body is internal. It connects to the glans and is suspended from the pubic bone via a ligament.
Corpora cavernosa. The clitoral body consists of corpora cavernosa that become erect during arousal.

Paired crura. The clitoral body branches off to form appendages. These “legs” straddle the urethra and the vaginal canal and become engorged with blood when you’re turned on.

Vestibular bulbs. The vestibular bulbs form an upside-down heart shape, with the urethra and the vaginal canal at the heart’s cleavage. The bulbs reach through and behind the labia, around the vaginal canal, and toward the anus. They also swell when you’re and bothered.

Knowing every part of your clitoris is kind of like putting together a unique outfit. Each of our bodies and the makeup is different.

For some people, playing with the clitoral hood brings pleasure, while for others, the vestibular bulbs bring on all the sensation. You don’t have to address every part, just the ones that work for you.

And that may change as you age or explore, and it may be different when you’re with a new partner.

Clitoral stimulation for a partner or with a partner

If you’re the clitoris owner, don’t be shy about letting on about your stimulation likes or dislikes. There’s also no shame in making all the you want with your own clit during a sexual encounter!

If you’re dating someone with a clitoris, don’t be afraid to ask about your partner’s desires too. Frame the question around how invested you are in discovering their pleasure points and taking the time to do so — without placing pressure on them to perform.

Experimenting (with consent), vocalizing (no, you don’t have to be a screamer unless you want to), and listening to desires are all equally important when it comes to having sex with someone.

That go-to spot that felt good last week? It may have moved inches over a new spot!

You just never know, and that’s why we’re giving all the options on giving and receiving clitoral stimulation.

How to focus on the clitoris during partner

1. Be handsy

Many penetrating positions (whether using a penis, hand, or toy) allow for either a partner’s hand, your own hand, or even both, to with the clitoris and clitoral hood.

2. Pillow props

Grind your clit on an artfully placed pillow or bunched-up blankets while your partner penetrates your vagina with a penis, toy, or fingers from behind.

3. Furniture fun

Use the furniture for support, especially when you want to stimulate yourself with your hand during a from-behind penetration.

Kneel on a pillow on the floor and lean your bod against the mattress so you don’t have to balance with arm. A headboard or sofa back work well too.

4. Ride and glide

Your partner’s pelvis is a tool for clit stim. It can help if your bae is in a seated or slightly reclined position when you straddle them and slide up and down, rubbing your clit and hood on their pubic bone or belly.

For added oomph, you or your partner can place a lubed-up finger or thumb beneath the clit. Vaginal penetration with a penis or toy is optional but can heighten the fun.

5. Reverse the ride

The reverse cowgirl position has you straddling your partner, facing away from them. If you and your partner both have a clitoris, slide several pillows your partner’s pelvis do the ride and glide in reverse while also tilting their clit toward you for easy hand or even oral access.

If your partner has a penis, opt for vaginal penetration. Your partner can also reach a hand around and stimulate your clit, or you can do it the way you like best.

6. Thigh high

This is a twist on the reverse cowgirl position. Instead of straddling both your partner’s legs, straddle just .

Your partner should bend their knee so you can ride up and down the thigh. Vaginal penetration with a penis, hands, or toy works well here.

7. Tongue twister

Try oral action, with the tongue gently circling the clitoris and hood with a mix of pressure.

A pleasurable work in progress

If a certain technique doesn’t get your headspace on cloud , alone or with a bed mate, don’t stress.

Clitoral stimulation isn’t a one-size-fits-all ritual. Mix it up you find the position, pressure, and rhythm that feels good you.

Playtime possibilities

Switch the direction of your rub.
Add or subtract pressure.
Alter or mix techniques.
Speed or slow the rhythm.
Change the of fingers.
Add or change toys.
Switch between external stim and vaginal penetration.
Keep in mind that we’ve had 3-D imagery of the full clitoral structure for about a decade when researchers finally produced a sonography of it. That means before 2008, not much was understood about the clit’s cool internal parts and how they interact with the rest of the genital area.

And we’ve still got a lot learn about it.

Scientific research may lag behind on studying the clit, but that’s all the more reason for you do your own independent (or partnered) study on what gets you off
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The 6 best yoga Position for sex enjoy
Posted:Oct 5, 2019 5:06 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2019 11:42 pm
154 Views

6 Yoga Poses That Will Make Your sex better

We all know that yoga has many benefits. Not only does yoga boast amazing stress-relieving qualities, it can also help you lose weight, improve your digestion, and even reprogram your DNA. While you might come to the mat to find your Zen, the benefits of yoga are even better than we thought.

It turns out that yoga can improve your sex life in more ways than one. And, before you get scared by thoughts of complicated Kama Sutra-style posing, it’s actually surprisingly simple.

How can yoga classes benefit your sex life?

The main benefit of yoga — both in and out of the bedroom — is reducing stress. Studies suggest that regular yoga practice helps reduce stress levels in the body by decreasing cortisol levels. Increased stress can have many negative effects on the body, and decreased sexual desire is one of them.

Yoga may also help improve overall sexual function. One study watched 40 women as they practiced yoga for 12 weeks. After the study ended, researchers concluded that the women had a significant improvement in their sex lives thanks to yoga. This is a small sample size and only one study, but the connection between yoga and a better sex life is promising.

“Yoga teaches you how to listen to your body, and how to control your mind,” says Lauren Zoeller, a certified yoga instructor and Whole Living Life Coach based in Nashville, Tennessee. “These two practices combined can bring you insight on what you like and dislike, leading you to better communicate what is best to your partner.”

Another way Zoeller says yoga can boost your sex life? Increasing awareness and body control.

“A regular yoga practice brings you into the awareness of the present moment which is very important when looking to boost your sex life. The more present you can become with your partner, the better the experience will be for both of you,” Zoeller explains. “Sex and yoga both benefit your physical, mental and emotional state. Learn to practice them regularly for access to feeling your absolute best!”

Yoga poses to improve your sex life

If you want to boost your sex life, try using some of these poses in your regular yoga practice.

1. Cat Pose (Marjaryasana) and Cow Pose (Bitilasana)

Often performed together, these poses help you loosen up the spine and relax. This helps lower your overall stress levels and makes it easier to get into the mood.

Active Body. Creative Mind.

Start this pose on all fours. Make sure your wrists are underneath your shoulders and your knees are in line with your hips. Keep your spine neutral and your weight balanced evenly across your body.
Inhale as you look up and let your stomach curve toward the floor. Lift your eyes, chin, and chest up as you stretch.
Exhale, tucking your chin into your chest, and draw your navel toward your spine. Round your spine toward the ceiling.
Move slowly between the two for 1 minute.
2. Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana)

This pose helps strengthen your pelvic floor. Strengthening these muscles helps reduce pain during sex and can even make the good stuff, well, better.

Active Body. Creative Mind.

Lie on your back.
Bend both knees and position your feet hip-width apart with your knees in line with your ankles.
Put your arms flat on the floor with your palms against the ground and spread your fingers.
Lift your pelvic region off the ground, allowing your torso to follow, but keep your shoulders and head on the floor.
Hold the pose for 5 seconds.
Release.
3. Happy Baby (Ananda Balasana)

A popular relaxation pose, this pose stretches your glutes and lower back. Plus, it doubles as a variation of missionary position. To try it in bed, start in missionary position with your partner on top, and then extend your legs and wrap them around your partner’s torso.

Active Body. Creative Mind.

Lie on your back.
With an exhale, bend your knees up toward your stomach.
Inhale and reach up to grab the outside of your feet, and then widen your knees. You can also use a belt or towel looped over your foot to make it easier.
Flex your feet, pushing your heels upward as you pull down with your hands to stretch.
4. One-Legged Pigeon (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana)

There are many variations of Pigeon, and all of them are great for stretching and opening up your hips. Tight hips can make sex uncomfortable, and they can also keep you from trying different sexual positions.

Active Body. Creative Mind.

Start on the floor on all floors.
Pick up your right leg and move it in front of your body so your lower leg is at a 90-degree angle from your body.
Stretch your left leg out behind you on the floor with the top of your foot facing down and your toes pointing back.
Exhale as you lean forward, shifting your body weight. Use your arms to support your weight. If this is uncomfortable, try folding up a blanket or a pillow and putting it under your right hip to keep your hips level as you stretch.
Release and repeat on the other side.
5. ’s Pose (Balasana)

This pose is a fantastic way to open your hips and find deep relaxation without needing to be crazy flexible. It’s also a grounding pose, meaning your focus should be on resting and breathing throughout the pose, which can help any stress and anxiety melt away.

Active Body. Creative Mind.

Start by kneeling on the floor. With your big toes touching, widen your knees until they’re around hip-width apart.
Exhale and lean forward. Place your hands in front of you and stretch out, allowing your upper body to relax between your legs. Try to touch your forehead to the mat, but you can also rest your head on a block or pillow.
Relax in this position for 30 seconds to a few minutes.
6. Corpse Pose (Savasana)

Yoga classes usually end in Corpse Pose, or Savasana, and there’s definitely a good reason. This pose helps you relax and learn to let go of stress. Think of it as a mini meditation session at the end of your yoga practice that supercharges your relaxation and feel-good efforts.

Active Body. Creative Mind.

Lay on your back with your feet spread and palms facing up. Relax every part of your body from your face to your fingers and toes.
Stay in this pose for as long as you want.

The bottom line

While some yoga poses can immediately improve your sex life, the biggest change is always going to be in reducing your stress. Not only does this provide a whole host of benefits, it allows you to relax and enjoy sex, which makes it even better
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The best 5 orgasms of your life for women
Posted:Oct 5, 2019 5:03 pm
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2019 11:55 pm
172 Views

5 Types of Orgasms and How to Get One (or More)

There’s a lot of talk about the “Big O,” but did you know there’s more than one kind of O to sing about? Orgasms in women may seem a little harder to spot since there’s no obvious spray to end the play. But they exist, and with a little awareness and attention, you can get the Os you deserve, from the fireworks-on-display kind to the calm oh-my-gods.

When you find yourself missing out on the Big O, there are three likely culprits: expectations, communication, and method. And alongside all of that, experimenting is required. You’ll find sites reporting that there are anywhere from 12 orgasms to just 1. But we’re focusing on the five an average person can achieve, for the definitive happy ending they deserve.

What are the types of orgasms?

Here’s a list of the most common types of orgasms and what they typically feel like, although this varies from person to person:

Orgasm type What they feel like
clitoral These orgasms are often felt on the surface of the body, like a tingly feeling along your skin and in your brain.

vaginal These orgasms are deeper in the body and can easily be felt by the person penetrating the vagina because the vaginal walls will pulse.

anal Before the big O, you may feel an intense need to pee, but the contractions definitely won’t be felt around the genitals. Instead, they’ll be around the anal sphincter.

combo When the vagina — particularly the G-spot — and the clitoris are stimulated at the same time, it tends to result in a more explosive movie-style orgasm that may have convulsing or literally ejaculation (read: female ejaculation is not a myth).

erogenous zones Lesser known parts of your body, such as the ears, the nipples, the neck, the elbows, and the knees, can still cause a pleasurable reaction when kissed and played with. For more sensitive people, continuous play may lead to an orgasm.
Now, how do we make these orgasms happen?

Let’s talk about the clitoris

The clitoris is a small organ with a lot of nerve endings that peeks out from the tiptop of the vulva, is often covered by a hood, and extends down the inside of the labia. The best way to stimulate the clitoris is by gently rubbing with the fingers, palm, or tongue in a back and forth or circular motion.

Clitoral orgasm

Once the clitoris begins to get wet — or after you add lube because not all vaginas can get wet on their own — apply faster and harder pressure in a repetitive motion.
Top off this motion with heavy pressure as the orgasm begins to intensify the feeling. Back down a little if the clit is too sensitive.
If this is enough to get you off, that’s awesome! But no worries if it doesn’t since this is not the be-all and end-all.
Tackling the elusive vaginal orgasm

Vaginal orgasm is often misconstrued as the “best” way for women to orgasm (read: the easiest for penises), but it’s often the most difficult for ladies. Instead of a penis, try fingers or a sex toy. Insert the fingers or toy into the vagina and make a “come hither” motion toward the belly button.

There’s a point of pleasure on this wall called the G-spot and when you hit it with regular, strong pressure, it can lead to orgasm. Stimulation of the G-spot is also the way to lead to female ejaculation, as it stimulates the Skene’s glands on either side of the urethra.

Vaginal orgasm

Aim to use fingers or a toy for penetration instead of the penis.
Mimic the “come hither” or circular motion, rather than an in-and-out movement.
Repeat motions that feel good so that the feelings will build up.
Exploring the anal orgasm

Anal orgasms are much more common in men because of the prostate, but can also be achieved simply by rubbing the outside of the anal opening as well as stimulating the inside of the anus with a finger. When it comes to anal sex, please, please, please use lube. Butts don’t naturally produce lubricant and the skin around the area is very prone to tears, which can lead to unwanted infection.

Shop for lubricant online.

If you’re looking to return the favor with your male partner, stimulate the prostate by gently inserting a finger straight forward and massage the gland.

Going for the combo and erogenous zones

In order to achieve a combo orgasm, combine clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time, either in parallel or opposite rhythms — whatever feels best for you or your partner. This is also the most common way to achieve female ejaculation because the clitoris is stimulated and the G-spot or Skene’s glands are engaged.

Finally, erogenous zone orgasms are achieved exclusively through a lot of experimentation. You may be able to orgasm from kisses on your neck, teeth on your nipples, or fingers on the inside of your elbows. The best way to find your erogenous zones is to use a feather or another light external object and take note where you feel the most pleasure.

Orgasms won’t come without communication

In any kind of sexual play, communication is key. Not only is consent literally required by law, but telling your partner what you want, how, and where is the best way to ensure maximum pleasure. It’s ideal to have these conversations before engaging in sexual play, but it’s equally effective to guide your partner during sex. This means asking for what you want either with words or with your body language. Remember, partners aren’t mind readers, even though we want them to be.

This also means being open to experimentation. If your regular sex routine isn’t getting you off, then experimenting with touching new areas at different times with different body parts (genitals, fingers, mouths) is the next best step to solving your orgasm mystery.

It’s also important to note that experimenting and achieving orgasm doesn’t require a partner. Pleasure is not dependent and neither are you — the better you know your rhythm with fingers and toys, the faster you can teach your partner how you tango.

What actually happens during an orgasm?

What physically happens in a woman's body during actual orgasm is this: the vagina, uterus, and anus (and sometimes other body parts like hands, feet, and abdomen) contract rapidly 3-15 timesTrusted Source, squeezing for 0.8 seconds at a time. Women may also ejaculate, releasing a liquid out of the urethra that contains a mix of whitish fluid from the Skene’s peri-urethral glands and urine. Don’t worry — urine is very sterile and the liquid usually comes out clear.

But not everybody experiences sex and orgasm the same way. The above explanations are great starting points, but sex doesn’t have a manual. That’s why exploring in the moment and finding what your body loves is absolutely key.

Understanding the stages that lead to an orgasm may help you

Masters and Johnson wrote a book that detailed the sexual response cycle, which states that there are four stages of the sexual response:

Excitement. Initially being turned on.
Plateau. Repetitive motion that feels pleasurable.
Orgasm. The burst of pleasure, and release.
Resolution. The refractory period.
While this is mostly accurate, it’s too general — especially when these stages cross over and there’s no explosive resolution. It’s also inaccurate to suggest that sex ends in orgasm, because this denies many women of their orgasms by pushing the idea that sex is finished when their male partners finish. Plus, not all sex requires an orgasm and orgasms don’t mean the sex is great.

Orgasms can be small. They can happen many times in a row or just once, and they don’t always happen. Don’t define your orgasms by someone else’s description… that’s ultimately shorting yourself on pleasure. Your calm clitoral orgasm can still be mind-blowing, just as your combo orgasm can be fun, and your partner’s ejaculation can be exciting.

Bodies are different. Orgasms are different. But the path it takes to get there is all about experimenting, communicating, and trying again. Allow yourself to soak in the sensations of the pleasure process just as much, or even more than, the finale.

Repeat after us: Orgasms aren’t the end goal of sex.
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The guide to Never having bad sex again enjoy ladies!
Posted:Oct 5, 2019 5:00 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2019 11:42 pm
156 Views

Every Woman’s Guide to Never Having Bad Sex Again

Having bad sex just isn’t an option anymore. Nope. Too often we simply accept that women won’t always enjoy sex. It’s something we give little notice to in our culture. And to be frank, it’s utterly ridiculous. This archaic thinking is rooted in sexual stigma and a lack of anatomical understanding.

“Our sexuality is as part of our lives as is eating and sleeping. Sexuality is an important aspect of our well-being, and in a healthy romantic relationship, it’s as vital as love and affection,” Dr. Sherry Ross, an OB-GYN and women’s health expert, tells Healthline.

Good sex comes from ridding yourself of sexual shame, owning your desire, and understanding the clitoris, leaning into that pleasure therein.

If you know what brings you to orgasm, you’ll know how to show your partner how to do the same.
It’s important to know your body, what it likes, and how it works. If you aren’t sure what makes you tick, you can’t exactly expect a partner to magically figure it out.

It’s absolutely possible to never have bad sex again. Here’s how.

It all starts with the right mindset

The saying goes, “If your heart’s not in it…” But when we say “heart,” what we really mean is brain.

Dr. Ross tells us that for a woman’s sexuality, the place we have to look first is the mind. The brain is our most powerful sex organ besides the clitoris (and trust me, we’ll get to that). “Intimacy, sex, and orgasm all begin with desire. If you don’t have any desireTrusted Source, you will not be able to have an orgasm. Plain and simple, mission will not be accomplished,” says Dr. Ross.

There are many issues that hinder and block our ability to connect our minds to our bodies: Body dysphoria, a lack of confidence, and sexual shame are just some of the factors that can leave sex feeling more obligatory than amazing.

When you feel those initial stirrings, those first moments of sexual spark, don’t shy away from them. Breathe into your body. Begin by entrenching yourself in a sexual fantasy. Don’t have one? Watch a little porn or read an erotic story to center yourself. Here are some suggestions.

Focus on your breath and everything your partner is doing to you that feels good. Consider this an entire experience of mind, body, and soul — even if it’s a casual encounter.

Masturbate for better sex

You may not have considered this before, but touching yourself is how you improve your sex life.

“Masturbation is a vehicle for understanding your body. The less you go for drives in your body’s ‘town,’ the scarier exploring it will be. Fear is the main ingredient of shame. Once you know that town, quite literally, like the back of your hand, then and only then, do you have the agency to invite another in for a visit,” Mal Harrison, a sexologist and director for the Center of Erotic Intelligence, tells Healthline.

Spend time with your vibrator or your hand. Experiment with different pressures, positions, and rhythms. If you know what brings you to orgasm, you’ll know how to show your partner how to do the same.

The clit should be involved always, always, always.
Harrison even encourages parents to teach their the normality and importance of masturbation for overall health. “If you don’t encourage your to masturbate and get her access to whatever toys she wants to try, then how can you expect her to understand and own her agency?” she says.

Focus on the clitoris

OK. Let’s not beat around the bush (pun intended). ResearchTrusted Source says many women don’t achieve orgasm from penetrative sex alone, and a recent survey found that 1 in 3 women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. So, we have to stop pretending that run-of-the-mill, penis-in-vagina sex is going to produce a female climax. It just isn’t realistic or based in fact.

The clitoris is the powerhouse of female orgasm. It contains over 8,000 nerve endings. Without manually (with a hand or toy) or orally stimulating the clitoris, orgasm is highly unlikely. So, if you want to stop having bad sex, get the clit involved.

“During penetrative sex, most women need the clitoris stimulated at the same time unless they are in touch with their G-spot,” Ross says. By the way, the G-spot IS a part of the clitoris, too. The clit should be involved always, always, always.

If you’re not getting the clitoral action you need, speak up! Do not fake orgasms. If you fake an orgasm, you set unrealistic expectations and create inaccurate guidelines for what brings you pleasure. “Don’t go along with someone who isn’t 120 percent into respecting you and focused on you having a great time. Otherwise, pleasure inside the bedroom will likely be zero,” Harrison says.

Remember, sex isn’t shameful

It’s amazing. It’s healthy. It’s beautiful.

Sexual shame is one of the main reasons we experience bad sex. We’re told sex is dirty and gross. This kind of thinking completely warps our perceptions of both ourselves and our pleasure.

“People are afraid of sexuality because it’s not commonplace to discuss freely and openly. The more we speak about it, the less power shame will have,” Harrison adds.

We have to talk about it until we are blue in the face. We must normalize sexuality. Only then can we have better sex. Good sex shouldn’t be an anomaly. It should be the gold standard we all expect, every single time.
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